Blog template Rock the Crossbar: November 2006

Rock the Crossbar

Tuesday, November 28

Busby Sings!

"Where the cubicles have no naaaaaaaaaaaame!"

Northern Ireland Currency

It's a sharp looking note. I hear they will soon issue a tenner with him in bed with a Miss World.

Tuesday, November 21

Trivia Time

What's the difference between Mrs. Ramsey, Mrs. Banks, Mrs. Cohen, Mrs. J. Charlton, Mrs. Moore, Mrs. Wilson, Mrs. Styles, Mrs. Ball, Mrs. R. Charlton, Mrs. Peters, Mrs. Hurst, Mrs. Hunt, and Pickles the Dog?

Monday, November 20

Footy heaven

So after my moan about FSC last week, i now have a compliment for those who have the total coverage. If you have Direct TV and can watch Setanta and FSC you have the best season ever. I just moved to Maryland and saw an Irish pub that had Setanta, i called them up and said do you show footy, they say yes. I asked them if they showed Setanta Extra (which Arsenal was live on this past Saturday) and they say no, I explain to them they do have it and to turn on channel 670 - low and behold they have a new channel.

I get there Saturday expecting no-one with a clue to be able to work the TV like most footy pubs in America - instead I am greeted by the best sight ever. In front of me is Arsenal on big plasma screen - to my left another screen showing Man United live and to my right a big screen showing Chelsea. All live and the best part is - its me and 2 other lads and they are watching Chelsea on a 4th TV at the other end of the bar. It was my own secret evil command center and I even had a nice Aussie bird waiting on me who brought me a lovely Irish breakfast.

So i now have found the place I will die in - they even do a fun trivia night on Mondays so I am delighted - my ITVN box is broke right now so this is a great alternative. If only we hadnt come up against Shay Given on Saturday who was out of this world to hold us to a draw. Everyone needs to move to Silver Spring, Md - footy heaven awaits. The best part is the ABC channel was hosting some Thanksgiving Parade which i had to cross twice to get there on Saturday; I found myself on one side of the street and had to run across the Redskins marching Band to get into McGintys as kickoff had just started and I was late; wasnt goign to wait 15 minutes for them all to pass. Anyone watching ABC in DC Saturday morning would have been treated to a disrespectful wanker running across the marching band to get to the pub. Love it.

Friday, November 17

This Charming Man

I'll take Gazza's WORST move on this highlight reel over any of the supposed top ten from Kobayashi's Kooky Show.

Thursday, November 16

10 Best moves..

This is magic… some Japanese’s or somesuch jabbering on. Allow me to translate what I think They’re saying.. NUMBER 10: THE STEPOVER I am magic at this. Or I was until I got a “star-kick”. This fella is doing it much to fast, they should be ponderously slow – and only use one leg. That double one is just for show-offs. This get’s an 8 for aesthetics and a 4 for effectiveness NUMBER 9: BURKIE’S SHUFFLE HOP This is utter gash. I remember seeing it live and thinking ‘Twat.’ I’m sure Burkie invented in 1988. It’s horrific. Real togger-ballers don’t do this. Serves him right when he fluffs it th second time. It gets a 5 for stupidly and 8 for ‘likely to get slapped by the P.E. teacher for trying it.” NUMBER 8: PELE’S DUMMY ACROSS THE BALL. Very nice.. ‘cept he misses. Actually he’s also famous for missing with a lob from the halfway line vs. the Czechs and for Gordon Bank’s save. Pele is famous for missing. He’s shoite. Pele gets a 6 for football ambassadorship “I think <> is the new Pele!” and an 8 for getting handjobs from a man with the rest of the Brazilian team. NUMBER 7: THE ‘RAINBOW’ Phhh! Those silly Chinese’s should be showing ‘escape to victory / victory’ for this. It’s alright. I’ve tried it in a game about 10 times and it’s worked about once. Swiss fella manages to add a turn into it, and he’s against Brazil, so fair play. He gets an 8 for ‘cheeky monkey’ and a 6 for usefulness. NUMBER 6: THE FAT CHIPMUNK SHUFFLE How is this 6th? Is it better than 10-7? Does this mean we will be seeing the ‘Lee Sharpe hoof and run’ in the top 3? It gets a 6 for ‘fat’ and a 9 for ‘chipmunk’. NUMBER 5: THE INSIDE HEEL FLICK. Drogba and C Ronaldo both have this as a staple. Its probably more effective than impressive. It gets a 7 for “cheeky monkey’ and a ‘9 for usefull’ NUMBER 4: SHOVEL IT OVER THEIR NOGGIN. Er, we’ve all done this. Decent finish from the guy, though… Gets an 8 for “easy” and a 9 for “peasey” NUMBER 3: ‘THE MARADONNA’ Still looks good today. Its also in this move somewhere: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2933777659497035377 It gets a 10 and an 8. Fairy ‘nuff. NUMBER 2: THE HEEL-HOOK FLICK. Errrr. Its okay. I think we’ve all tried it. Number 2? No way. I think Burkie Loves this one. It gets a VERY generous 10 and 9. NUMERO UNO: The ermm – just watch it. Class, but not the best IMHO. It gets 2 tens. You should see your doctor if you’re too tense. Surprised they don’t have: The double kick thingy there you‘re-kick’ the ball to change its direction, The Puskas, The step and push. ETC BONUS: END MONTAGE. The music is by RtCB’s own Simon Burke and is is called “electro-chicken”. Ta.

Monday, November 13

Infomercials

As a companion to my FSC is going to hell piece I feel its time to laugh at their infomercials. The latest being the Bill Parcells backyard couching nonsense for only 300 dollars - its complete with cheese and talks about father bonding experiences and features interviews with Bill himself, the whole DVD lasts over 6 hours and I am sure is a mindnumbing waste of time - alas the commercial itself lasts ages and we will be seeing it a lot..... Then we move on to 60earn.com - you know the one were badly dressed ugly people tell you how much they earn a month and that they all bought houses with their money they earned from home - Jesus. Who buys into this crap?! Scandalous. Now that FSC sold off French and German league games and shows just the Prem, MLShite and Argentinian footy to compliment their shocking college soccer coverage there will be plenty of time for more infomercials like this.

Fox Soccer channel coverage

Its time to look at this channel. Only the other night was i bored so i turned it on and what did I find but some birds college match?!!! The camera was panning like it was Wimbledon tennis coverage in 1929. This channel simply sucks. Granted it did have Arsenal V Liverturd on it but otherwise this channel is going down the tubes fast. I am including a link to a good English blog which is written by a guy who lives in Florida. THe comments are good on the state of FSC and yes the games arent live!!! I have noticed often that things seem a few mins behind. See link HERE

Thursday, November 9

Adu set for Yernited Trails

http://home.skysports.com/list.aspx?hlid=427732&CPID=8&clid=1&lid=2&title=United+confirm+Adu+arrival Is this good for merrycan toggerball?

Monday, November 6

Stephen Colbert says..

You're on notice Premiership!!

Wednesday, November 1

FSC - Tosser of the Year award

So got home from work half nine last night and sat on the couch and actually watched 30 minutes of Fox Football Fone In whilst drinking a beer or two. The Chelsea guy was on there with Nick Webster; the usual Liverpool tosser was not on there. They were discussing Jurgen Klinsmann and who the new US captain would be. Nick Webster argued that it should be Landon Donovan because he is "the heart and soul of the team" and has carried the team over the last four years; scored the most goals; produced in key matches, etc. I had not hated Nick Webster till that moment. I hope he was just being a wind up merchant. Chelsea guy to his credit, vehemently disagreed and argued that Landon has no bottle nor any respect. I now have some respect for the Chelsea guy and absolute hatred for Nick Webster.