10 Best moves..
This is magic… some Japanese’s or somesuch jabbering on. Allow me to translate what I think They’re saying.. NUMBER 10: THE STEPOVER I am magic at this. Or I was until I got a “star-kick”. This fella is doing it much to fast, they should be ponderously slow – and only use one leg. That double one is just for show-offs. This get’s an 8 for aesthetics and a 4 for effectiveness NUMBER 9: BURKIE’S SHUFFLE HOP This is utter gash. I remember seeing it live and thinking ‘Twat.’ I’m sure Burkie invented in 1988. It’s horrific. Real togger-ballers don’t do this. Serves him right when he fluffs it th second time. It gets a 5 for stupidly and 8 for ‘likely to get slapped by the P.E. teacher for trying it.” NUMBER 8: PELE’S DUMMY ACROSS THE BALL. Very nice.. ‘cept he misses. Actually he’s also famous for missing with a lob from the halfway line vs. the Czechs and for Gordon Bank’s save. Pele is famous for missing. He’s shoite. Pele gets a 6 for football ambassadorship “I think <
> is the new Pele!” and an 8 for getting handjobs from a man with the rest of the Brazilian team.
NUMBER 7: THE ‘RAINBOW’
Phhh! Those silly Chinese’s should be showing ‘escape to victory / victory’ for this. It’s alright. I’ve tried it in a game about 10 times and it’s worked about once. Swiss fella manages to add a turn into it, and he’s against Brazil, so fair play. He gets an 8 for ‘cheeky monkey’ and a 6 for usefulness.
NUMBER 6: THE FAT CHIPMUNK SHUFFLE
How is this 6th? Is it better than 10-7? Does this mean we will be seeing the ‘Lee Sharpe hoof and run’ in the top 3? It gets a 6 for ‘fat’ and a 9 for ‘chipmunk’.
NUMBER 5: THE INSIDE HEEL FLICK.
Drogba and C Ronaldo both have this as a staple. Its probably more effective than impressive. It gets a 7 for “cheeky monkey’ and a ‘9 for usefull’
NUMBER 4: SHOVEL IT OVER THEIR NOGGIN.
Er, we’ve all done this. Decent finish from the guy, though… Gets an 8 for “easy” and a 9 for “peasey”
NUMBER 3: ‘THE MARADONNA’
Still looks good today. Its also in this move somewhere: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2933777659497035377
It gets a 10 and an 8. Fairy ‘nuff.
NUMBER 2: THE HEEL-HOOK FLICK.
Errrr. Its okay. I think we’ve all tried it. Number 2? No way. I think Burkie Loves this one. It gets a VERY generous 10 and 9.
NUMERO UNO: The ermm – just watch it.
Class, but not the best IMHO. It gets 2 tens. You should see your doctor if you’re too tense.
Surprised they don’t have:
The double kick thingy there you‘re-kick’ the ball to change its direction,
The step and push.
BONUS: END MONTAGE. The music is by RtCB’s own Simon Burke and is is called “electro-chicken”.