Blog template Rock the Crossbar: The Aesthetic League table

Rock the Crossbar

Thursday, March 23

The Aesthetic League table

“Joga Bonito”, Fat fan Fighter / fracas facilitator Frenchie Cantona says. Well, here it is the Aesthetic form league table:

  1. Arsenal
  2. Man Utd
  3. Liverpool
  4. Fulham
  5. Everton
  6. West Brom
  7. West Ham
  8. Tottenham
  9. Man City
  10. Middlesbrough
  11. Portsmouth
  12. Newcastle
  13. Wigan
  14. Sunderland
  15. Blackburn
  16. Aston Villa
  17. Charlton
  18. Chelsea
  19. Birmingham
  20. Bolton

Notes: Aresnal remain top with their expansive flicky flicky ‘too nice to score simple goals’ stuff. Yernited are still strong, but based more on individual skills rather than team play. Liverpool strong thanks to better ball retention this year, although still a little direct. Highest climbers are Everton, who have abandoned there longballism / hoofery principles in recent weeks. Expect a revert to type for the derby. Chelsea languish in the drop zone with their effective and pragmatic joyless shiote. Bolton’s “if it moves, kick it” policy keeps the rooted to the bottom.

2 Comments:

  • This is pretty funny - if only the league was decided like this.
    The bottom 4 is dead on and Blackburn would be in it but for occasional class from Pederson and Bellamy... Brum are truly the worst team in football right now in terms of watchability and talent...Goodbye Steve Bruce - that United job wont be yours after all.
    Liverpool are rated too highly - in terms of watchability they are still hoof it to Crouch and hope for the best - but under Houllier they were division 2 in my mind so deserve a promotion.

    By Blogger Simon Burke, at 2:10 PM  

  • Apparently no one has witnessed the magic that is Joey Barton! How dare we be ranked below Worst Ham when we have Richard Dunne coming forward with his patented bull-rushes up the gut? MCFC is all about the beautiful game - don't forget it! Our motto is "Middle of the Table, No FA Cup, No Europe, No Worries." Awesome!

    By Blogger George Cuddy, at 8:16 PM  

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